My Future Gallery

It is in this section of my blog that I plan to display any art I’ve created over the years ranging in all mediums. I am pretty certain I’ll sub categorize them to include sketches in graphite/charcoal, paintings in oils/acrylic/watercolor and anything else I’ve thrown together I felt worthy of scanning.

I’ve never sold a piece of art or started a project with the intent to sell. The simple act of painting or drawing or just watching someone else do the same is wonderful therapy for me, and I’m grateful to have it in my life.

Valued … Never Compared

I decided early today was the not the day for me to be looking at a monitor. Saturday felt like a good movie day, I don’t treat myself to a decent movie as often as I should. The right movie can deliver the most awesome inspiration. Especially when I’m not looking for it.

It would be a good time to mention this one little “itch” I have that refuses to go away. I constantly feel as if I have to save the world. I can’t watch a movie like Hotel Rwanda without feeling as if I have to drastically change my life immediately - that same night even. I’m so passionate and sporadic I believe if I didn’t have family ties I would do such a crazy thing, such as joining the Peace Corps overnight. Sure I’d be so reality-slapped I’d get knocked down, but I would get up. Anyway…

I own a few staples and I try not to over-watch them as to savor their value. The better the movie or message it sends, the longer I wait. The really great ones watched the second time around have tendency to reinvent themselves re-tantalizing every keen sense I possess, less the obvious, and it’s as if I were watching them again for the very first time.

I decided to watch The Pianist. I knew what I was getting into when I made the decision to jump. Within 15 minutes I regretted the move, not wanting to feel so incredibly depressed and helpless on a day I preferred to indulge in warm and cozy. That pity spot lasted all of three minutes and near instantly I had been swallowed into the family’s seemingly minimal dilemmas - where to hide the excess of zloty’s allowed per family and would the father be able to play his violin if it were the chosen spot?

I studied their room, looked closely at their belongings, what to take - what to leave. Why are they leaving again? I felt my throat and heart drop to my gut and it hasn’t moved since.

A Pianist. A Piano. Together they do make a beautiful sound, don’t they? I used to say “I love the piano” or “The piano is my favorite instrument.” New lessons in life. Without a pianist what good would a piano be?

I am forever reminding myself how grateful I should be, and I truly am. I am reminded through watching only 30 minutes of local (or worse) national news how something as simple as a shower is something to be grateful for. Clean water, desired temperature, choice of flavored soaps for skin, hair and face. And then of course, a clean dry towel and clothes to slip into. (somewhere in the back of my house a shower just turned on). Am I sick? No, just grateful I’ll have my shot at one of those lovely showers when the time comes. From the smell it might be sooner than later. … that was a joke.

Onward! So how do I teach myself gratitude? It’s hard to stay on top of it! It’s easy to go through monotonous days that turn into blurry months of passing time all the while staying consciously alert that any moment could be my last clean breath or drink of water, ability to speak, hear, taste or walk. That’s such a depressive and unnecessary way to live! What an anxious little freak I’d be - but then I sometimes am.

I do, however, implore these thoughts often not to scare myself into gratitude but rather remind myself that I am not invincible. And life - all life - is to be savored and encouraged. And no matter what form it may take, it is to be valued and never compared to the importance of another’s. Including my very own.

I Could Ramble …

About everything and anything under the moon, sun and stars. Sometimes I cringe at how much I like to ramble, and can only hope when the ringing in my ears has stopped (soapbox fever?) I’ve made some sense to someone, somewhere, somehow. I’m teaching myself to shut-up. There’s so much more to be learned in listening.

Ironically I’m here instead, blogging my way through the aged listening task at full mach speed.

This website was borne of an overwhelming desire to talk about it. “It” of course referring to anything I please and of course most importantly any given subject I may be on fire to talk about it.

“It is that which spawns of yearning, an undeniable burning -
that promises never to be boring” *

Or why even bother writing about it?

Over the years I’ve learned to accept I am a geek mostly, at least I have strong natural geek tendencies. I thrive on knowing the hows and whys of everything. I am a sucker for video games, astronomy, Einstein, UFOs, and anything amphibious. I am a computer nerd, and still an ‘artist’ of many sorts. I am passionate about writing, drawing and painting and stay active in all of the above and more. I’ve a busy mind, which has both pros and cons. Sleep can be a nuisance, but I learned very necessary to a keen mind.

* I’ll stop there and surmise my point in fear of early contradiction.

Working from home on the computer too many hours a day leaves me with an incredible urge to talk to someone, anyone who will listen. My very kind family and colleagues have tired of my incessant ramblings (I’m certain of this) and so a blog seemed right up my alley.
I hereby vow to stop talking and start blogging!

A personal blog allowed for anonymity and a sufficient platform to deliver an acoustically raw and unfettered account of my deepest, most inner thoughts and life’s experiences. Please enjoy them.

Care to share? Are you an incessant rambler or preferred listener?

What inspires me most?

That’s easy - almost everything. There are days I recall when I can honestly claim that to be true. Everything I look at seems to spark emotion and a genuine and consuming desire to capture and expound upon it.

• Six o’clock sunlight draped across any man made or natural element gets my attention every time.
• Always, ALWAYS, Always watching Rent!
• Cirque Du’ Soliel
• Elton John
• The Beatles
• Van Gogh’s drawings
• Moby
• Coldplay
• The piano, cello, or violin
• Winslow Homer
• Morphine (the band not the drug)
• Floyd (of course)
• my husband and loving family
• God and His amazing graces
• Need I go on?

Go and ahead and label me a tad eccentric and overly-dramatic, I’m past guilty. But I speak truths.

Believe it or not a full moon seems to feed my creativity like wildfire. The few days prior to the day of the full moon, I cannot be stopped. This has proven to be both a problem and wonder. But mostly it’s a fantastic outlet for me. I cannot sleep during this time, so it’s safe to say in four days I’d average 16 forced hours of sleep, at best. No, I’m not a werewolf.

What most inspires you?

A Blog About My Blog

If you happen on this location: Chello, I’m glad to see you’re here. Would you mind dropping a fast note if none other than to say you found me?

I am staging this blog for a while for testing purposes. As I pick away at the design, widgets, css, components and study its overall behavior I will occasionally make posts on subjects that feed my soul, or otherwise are just plain interesting to me (and of course hopefully to you).

Happy and safe Fourth to all.